The movie...

Yo! Bored of super efficient super friendly employees? Motivated staff? Helpful stewards? Polite personnel? Come to France!

New day? New surprise! If you think that you met the king or queen of all idiots yesterday, open wide your eyes today! France has a lot to offer!

These days, the French Cinematheque is running some event dedicated to Spanish cinema director Pedro Almodovar. They are showing all his movies and there is even an exhibition where you can see some of the items the man likes.

I went a couple of times and I was always lucky enough to line up for the ticket office run by a foreigner, but yesterday, damn, the foreigner wasn't there. I looked around and saw two tills open: At one, the machine was broken and while one guy was working, 5 others were looking at him (and probably critisising his attempts to fix the machine), at the other one, a French!!! Well, no-option here, I headed towards the French lady behind the second desk. What follows is our exchange of words:

-Hello! I want two tickets for...
-Almodovar?(great! she recognised in my face that I like good movies)
-OK, it is 12 euro.
-Hold on, shouldn't it be 8 Euro?
-NON, 6 euro each.
-But I have the discount card.
-Yes, and the full price is 9 euro, but with the card you pay 6.
-But I have always paid 4 euro.
Some silence... her mouth becomes a volcano crater and shouts:
-For the exhibition???!!!
-No, for the movie.
-Well, I didn't mention the word Almodovar.
She goes into panick mode, no self criticism, accusing me of misleading her (with what, my face...?), and when I think there is no other option than telling the public: "Pays de merde", the foreigner who works sometimes there appears. I waved:
-Help! Do you know how this machine works?

She fixed the issue, I got my tickets, I paid the normal price and also this foreigner wished me an enjoyable evening.

The French employee didn't apologise.


Anonymous Ducth Papa said...

hehehehhee really funny man,

I just can stop laughing!!! Man, This stupid Frenchies-wannabies have shit, excrement and all trash you can imagine.
I think we HAVE TO send a letter to the EU commitee ORDERING to kick the frenchies-asses out of the Continent!! Maybe we can send them to Australia, they have a lot of clean land there.

Well, hopefully this nice foreing guy rescue you from the COMMON stupid behavior of French-Wannabies!!!

Man take care and keep posting!!


Mr T

11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not surprising. Apology doesn't exist in the French vocabulary

2:21 AM  
Anonymous Trevor said...


I wouldn't place too much trust in Johnny Foreigner either. He's a sneeky one is Johnny Foreigner!

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, this is my first time to encounter a self- righteous and acting- like- his- perfect kind of blogger. I just read your posts. You have such a bitter character. I think you're a loser. Why stay in France? Or perhaps you don't have any other choice because the rests are all the same?

Good luck, man! Learn to be happy!

3:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"his" is meant to be he's

3:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi your Anus Majesty.
First, I want to know whether this is a serious blog. Is it just meant to enrage French (and other) people as well as satisfy all the bitter-uneducated people around here?
Anyway. I think the owner of this blog is a big joker, just the nickname. Of course, everything's not untrue, prejudices are always based on some truth, but they are still prejudices. Being here, one should take use the opportunity to meet people, discover new habits, live a different life, ...
Anyway, hopefully the next posts will be a bit more positive and interesting. Enjoy life, sun is coming back.

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous ,

Prejudices 'are always based on some truth', but if you read my post, I have not written one single prejudice, just real life experiences of a guy who has lived and worked in central Paris for several years. I can hardly prejudge the French, I live that to all those mid-West Americans who dream of coming to Paris.

(from another PC)

6:24 PM  
Anonymous Matthieu said...

I'm French (and parisian besides that), and I've read all your posts so far. I think that, even if you're right on some things like the laziness of the administration and the fact that French are always against everything, your posts are far too generalizing.
It just seems to me basic racism (a French man/woman behind a counter = a mean and not polite guy) and it's not a proof of intelligence.
Furthermore, why having chosen that ugly and shameful flag for an avatar? Even if a majority of France at that time was with Petain or didn't care at all, it's not very tactful of you to choose such a flag. It's like if you had gotten to germany, didn't like the country and chose to take a swatiska to illustrate your blog...
I hope you're a little bit more clever than that.


5:30 PM  
Blogger Uranus said...

Hi Matthieu,

I have lived in more tha half a dozen countries before landing in France, and I know generalisations are not fair to the 100% of the population I generalise about, but generalisations are still necessary in the scientific method to explain reality (inference). I know that 100% of French are not idiots, and I am sure that not 100% supported Petain, however I cannot hide the fact that it is easier generalising about the French than about any other nation in Europe. There are several reasons for this, but the main one is the level of centralisation: education, law making, culture, media,... The result? Very common and specific patterns of behaviour in society. Now, I agree that my blog focuses on the negative aspects, but come on! you also have blogs of other foreigners who live in Paris and spend all their ink on praising Paris and Parisians.

I guess the reality is somewhere in between what I write here and what Petite Anglaise writes on her blog.


P.S. The reason why I chose the Vichy Regime flag is because that period of French history is very descriptive of some patterns of behaviour that I have found in the France that I know (I hope I have time to develop further my theory in future posts).

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"There are several reasons for this, but the main one is the level of centralisation: education, law making, culture, media,... The result? Very common and specific patterns of behaviour in society."

Are you taking a role of an expert or something? C'mon, you've gotta give us intelligent and more profound stories to convince us about your rationale. Your posts reflect the otherwise.

Are you living in Paris? Have your tried living in another city other than the Paris region? France is not only Paris, you know. Hmmm... talking about random samples of experiences to represent the whole. Stupid, eh?

So, now I have to read Petite's blog to understand the REAL reality? Is there a frog and a tadpole too? Hmmm...metaphors.

I'm not French, by the way.


11:56 PM  
Anonymous Dutch Papa!! said...


I think most people that have posted in this blog are right in all their comments: FRENCH PEOPLE ARE STUPID!!!! It's this simple.

It almost seems like the french are doing something every 6 months to demonstrate how not to do things. Or...maybe, that's exactly what they're trying to do...demonstrating to the rest of the world what not to do in order for every other country to do the complete opposite of France and become successful. Then again, they're just a bunch of idiots like everyone thinks and everyone is COMPLETE 100% Correct!!!

I would like to give my congratulations to all people that have posted in this Blog, cuz it is soooo funny!!! hehehehe and it is even better when I can read that almost 100% of us have the same thinking, even when some of you try to hide you dislike Frenchies-Wannabies but you really dislike and you just do not know who to express this, that you damn the French!!!

Burn France!!!! and Save Europe!!!


Brighton Rules!!

Mr T

5:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok so the French have some faults; so does everybody else to diff extends. Now, like they say in America; if you dont like the heat get out of the kitchen...
go back and start writing for the NY Times....
bye bye ET

10:52 AM  
Anonymous Matthieu said...


I'm relieved to see that you're not some dumb man, and your arguments are, I must say, quite interesting.
Being a "native" french, I've never lived in any other country and thus have no experience of a decentralized one but I can assure you Lurker that what Uranus says about centralization in France is entirely true.
A quarter of the French population lives in Paris and its close suburbs, all the important administrative buildings are in Paris (Elysée (presidency), Prime Minister, Foreign Office, War Office...), all the major museums also, the fashion, the literature...
And, last but not least, in French there's even a word : "province" to design all that is not parisian.
All this is the result of history (the Kings always lived near Paris, in Versailles, the French Revolution took place mostly in Paris...) and thus very hard to change.

But, even if you're right about that, it don't mean you should only see the negative aspects of French people, and can maybe say some words of what you like, just to make a balance, and show that, like any other country in the world, French are complex people with a mixed population of total dumbass, "normal" people, and interesting ones...

And I would be proud if you could develop those typical french patterns you're speaking about the Vichy regime (I hope you understand what I mean, my Engligh is very crappy sometimes...). I think that foreigners are generally far more perceptive about our defaults that we are, being in them since our birth...



11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You must be French ! Only French people like to criticize France so much.

3:55 PM  
Blogger rhino75 said...

Uranus, I think you're wonderful. I particularly like the banking story, as a similar thing happened to me. What AMAZES me is that they all think it's normal???!! And I have never had a French person apologise to me either. In eight years.

5:15 PM  
Blogger Uranus said...


Sorry I have to be brief, but I am in Brussels today and I will be in another country tomorrow, travelling on business.

I see some very interesting comments here.

Dutch Papa, thanks for your support, you really rock man!

Matthieu, thanks for your comments, I will try to develop my arguments when Normandy and other anniversaries are celebrated in the next months.

Lurker, sorry to hear that you don't consider me an expert in French affairs. By the way, I am also an expert in automobiles, even though I don't own a car!

I will write some new post on Friday.



8:48 PM  
Blogger Uranus said...


Of all the things that really make me mad at the French is that custom of never apologising. You can catch them with the bloody knife in the hand and the dead body at their feet and they will still not apologise.

8:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep this blog going because you've hit the nail on the head

9:33 AM  
Anonymous Trevor said...

Uranus does make a relevant point. The more a group conforms to a standard, the more the group is amenable to generalization. The French are probably more amenable to generalization than other nationalities on account of their highly centralized educational system, a system conducive by its very design to the production of a standardized output, not at all unlike a factory assembly line. Hence the "patterns" Uranus refers to, and the feeling of dèja vu that so abounds hereabouts.

7:39 PM  
Blogger Paris Lights said...

Uranus - you're hilarious! OK so not everything you say is fair, but I understand your explanations. I have a less frustrating but equally telling story about Parisian customer service on my blog today too, but it's not as funny as yours!

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your site is on top of my favourites - Great work I like it.

1:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting website with a lot of resources and detailed explanations.

1:43 AM  

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