French dogs

I stopped at one of those restaurants on the side of the highway and ordered a hot meal. My friend brought the following to my attention: "Did you ever realise that all the customers of these French restaurants are white people?". I started to think about this subject but then my thoughts were interrupted by a French threesome that sat next to us: A French idiot, his idiot wife and their dog!

I felt compelled to stand up and tell the guy: "Get out of here, you and your two companions", but my friend stopped me explaining that in France restaurants allow dogs in. I gazed at the two French, the dog and then realised that the dog was probably cleaner than the two others.

* * *

During the past days, France has made the headlines with some more riots in suburbia and quite a good number of genuine news.

I already talked about the 6000 travellers' survey on worst places to travel, where France ranked first in some of the most disputed categories.

Some reader discovered for me a news item that proposes the movie "Le Corbeau" (Henri-Georges Clouzot) as a good starting point to understand the current political climate in France and their custom of stabbing their colleagues and neighbours in the back (during WWII, the Nazis received over 3 million anonymous letters from French people who had something to tell about a neighbour, a work colleague or anybody they didn't like, and amazingly, still nowadays, the French Police receive quite a good volume of anonymous).

However, the news that has impressed me the most is this one: "France fined for deporting Jews". Basically, nearly 100,000 Jews were deported to death camps during WWII and some relatives sued the logistics supplier of the nazis: SNCF, and some freethinking judge found SNCF guilty. The SNCF lawyer says they will appeal (to avoid paying 60 thousand Euros) and and that the ruling is unfair since SNCF cannot be responsible of the deportations since they only collaborated with the Germans...

One of the victims replies that the French state and SNCF did not just collaborate with the nazis, "they did rather more than what had been asked of them by the occupiers"...
Isn't this French culture at its best?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Uranus,

When I first moved to France from the UK I was full of expectations, hopes and an admiration for the French people, the French culture, the traditions and what I thought was, the keen political awareness of the French nation.

It's four years down the line now and all of my expectations of France have, unfortunately, been exposed as foolish dreams and misguided foolishness.

I stumbled across your blog by accident and what a fortunate accident it has proved to be.

When I started to notice the cracks I thought that it was my lack of understanding of an alien culture and that my barbarism was preventing me from fully appreciating the true nature of France. In short I thought that it was my fault for not understanding the French and their mindset.

Thanks to your blog I know now that it's not me it's them!!!

They are a fucked-up nation, self-centred, self-obsessed, self-interested and dishonest with themselves and the rest of humanity.

So thank you Uranus, for allowing the scales to fall from my eyes, I can relax now and know that it's France that has a problem with its self. Just take a look at the 1940/45 Franco/German collaboration, the French denouncements to the German authorities for personal gain, the collective amnesia immediately after WWII. They are seriously deranged by their collective duplicity and dishonesty. What a nation!!! It still goes on today and at the highest level of government too!!

A foreigner in France

6:45 PM  
Blogger Uranus said...


I work for a British company in Paris, and after several years here I have seen many English guys coming for some project to the Paris office and their behaviour always follows the same pattern:

1. They are told that they have an assignment in France and they won the National Lotery.
2. They come and try to make friends at work, socialise outside of work, mingle with the French, learn French language, get the most out of living in Paris.
3. Several months later, and after having been stabbed in the back by their colleagues, mistreated in every single retaurant and pub, they start making excuses to finish the project early and move back to the UK as soon as possible.

I think this is my story too and the story of so many foreigners who bought the "Paris" brand before having actually been here.

Just yesterday I was in some exhibition in Trocadero and I met a South American girl. When we finished talking about the weather, then I took on my favourite causual converasion subject: "What do you think about living in France?"... We spent 4 hours talking about that and about the French, until 1am ,and her story was your story, my own story and the story of many foreigners who came to France thinking that the French were an admirable bunch for some mythological reason.

Rest assured, you are not alone.

1:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Uranus,

I was reading your web and first I thought it was so funny, then the idea that Frech are being so low, arrogant and disgusting to foreigners made me upset.. can it be possible that I'm also been fooled by believing that France is a good nation???.... but soon I realized that the majority of these complaints are written by british... and WE ALL KNOW OF THE ETERNAL RIVALITY BETWEEN ENGLISH AND FRENCH!!! he,he,he..."They just love each other" dont they? he,he,he..

On my experience I have dealed with totally self-centered, arrogant, and boring british.. but I still dont categorize "all" British the same (even though 75% of them behaved that way)...

I'm not defending the French nor attacking the British... but I firmly state that a more objective point of view will create a stronger argument, otherwise it just looks like some grudge Britishs trying to keep a live the FOREVER BATTLE AGAINST FRANCE!...


3:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Uranus,

I was reading your web and first I thought it was so funny, then the idea that Frech are being so low, arrogant and disgusting to foreigners made me upset.. can it be possible that I'm also been fooled by believing that France is a good nation???.... but soon I realized that the majority of these complaints are written by british... and WE ALL KNOW OF THE ETERNAL RIVALITY BETWEEN ENGLISH AND FRENCH!!! he,he,he..."They just love each other" dont they? he,he,he..

On my experience I have dealed with totally self-centered, arrogant, and boring british.. but I still dont categorize "all" British the same (even though 75% of them behaved that way)...

I'm not defending the French nor attacking the British... but I firmly state that a more objective point of view will create a stronger argument, otherwise it just looks like some grudge Britishs trying to keep a live the FOREVER BATTLE AGAINST FRANCE!...


3:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Are you French Victoria? If you have been upset by the comments on this blog tough! It's the truth about living and working in France as far as my experience goes. Your nation is self-centred and very, very arrogant and only mildly aquainted with the concept of truth. France is alone in Europe and the world. No-one likes the French, not even the French.

And as far as being British is concerned I am Polish for your information. I have not been made to feel welcome in your country.

A Foriegner in France

9:33 AM  
Blogger Uranus said...


I am not a nationalist, in fact I am one of those who think that nationalism is a mental illness. For this reason, I have always accepted that I can find good and bad people in any country, including my own.

My point is not that all people living in France are bad and that all people in, say the UK, are good. My point is that the "French culture" is a set of values that many people in France sponsor and that make of blind nationalism and hatred for the foreigner a common flag. As a result, of that prevailing "French culture", most foreigners are uneasy living here.

I have lived in many countries, and I can tell you that this is the first one where the majority of the locals made me feel a foreigner.

11:17 PM  
Blogger nouille said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:59 AM  
Blogger nouille said...

I think you are a bit too hard on the French. You are starting to sound like Hitler when he spoke of the jews. Having said that......

Americans seem to dislike the French as much as the Brits and are equally disillusioned when it comes to dreams of "a year in Provence".

5:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I think you have an all too brief association with history!

Your assertion that Uranus" comments are similar to those of Hitler against the Jews are either calculated to be create miscchief or are the result of a naive stupidity, which is it?

Put your brain into gear before you attack the clavier in future.

Regarding "A year in Provence" How can anyone fail to feel disillusion after being exposed to the French "Mission statement" and then experiencing the reality of living in France.

The Americans dislike anything they don't understand and thankfully the majority, like the French, stay in their own country. I have found that the British like one until someone until they are given a reason not to like them any more.

Perhaps this explains why so many people visit this website to vent their spleen. One can hardly say these things to ones French work colleagues or French neighbour could one?

Do make the effort to read some modern European history Nouille before your limited understanding gets you into serious trouble!!!


7:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nouille, are you a dumb Yank or what?

Horrified bystander

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Nouille,

I am not for exterminating the French, but for re-educating them.


10:21 AM  
Anonymous Dutch Papa!! said...

Nouille and Victoria,

I am not British, I am no American...and of course I am not Frenchie-Wannabie.... I have lived in several countries due to work at my company: UK, US,Mexico, Argentina, Australia, Germany, Spain, ChezRep,Italy and others... and I think I have more experience than you spending time with different cultures and different races...HOWEVER, after all this experience I have to tell you that French are just completely EVIL-MIND... that's a fact!! that's kind of people that pretend to be your friend, but they just want to hurt you without reason..just because they are bad people, just for the pleasure of hurt you. I do not know where are you from but at least in The Netherlands we do consider Frenchies as really low-level-mind people... our jokes of stupid and racist people are expained with frenchies as characters, and this is not by fortune.. they have win this with their natural stupidity!!!! and I can tell you Germans, Danish, Belgium and most of european countries think in this way.. that they are the break for europe, they are the rock in our shoes, they are the ones that always complain, do not work, want to organize and do everything wrong!! In my hometown we just simply call them: STUPIDS
So, It is not matter of if British are mad against Frenchies.... We all foreing living in Paris HATE and DISLIKE Frenchies cuz they are EVIL and they shoul dissapear from this planet!!!! hehehehe

HEY!! ANDY!!! where are you I misss you comment: BURN FRANCE !!!!

Regarding lettig Doggies enter to restaurants...well, we can not blame this animals behave as animals because they are animals.. and I am not talkin about doggies, the animals are the Frenchies-wannabies!!! cuz dogs are always cleaner than Frenchies, with better manners and they do not TALK stupid things as Frenchis usually do.


Mr T

5:44 PM  
Blogger nouille said...

I know European history all too well. I speak several European languages as well.

I think when you infer French people are dirtier than dogs, that sounds like Nazi speak.

Ewan: I have found that the British like one until someone until they are given a reason not to like them any more.

What a load of rubbish. You are obviously biased.

8:00 PM  
Blogger Uranus said...


I didn't say or infer that "French people are dirtier than dogs"... I just inferred that the dog I saw was cleaner than its owners.

Now, in general, I think that people who vote for Le Pen, Sarkozy or De Vil and French nationalists are dirtier than dogs.



10:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Such a pleasure to hear from you again, You may, like me, speak several languages, however, being able to speak other languages and making sense in them is another thing altogether.

Ewan: (I have found that the British like one until someone until they are given a reason not to like them any more.)

Sorry for the errors it should have read: The English like one until they are given a reason not to.

Biased? Yes! Bigoted? No!

Have you spent any length of time living here in France? I wonder?

I have lived and worked in quite a few different countries and cultures and have always been made to feel welcome. I have habitually made every effort to integrate into the local culture and have been encouraged to do so.

In France my experience is completely different to that of my time spent in other countries.

I take as I find and I'm afraid I find life here unpleasant.

My experience! Not pre-judgement.

I can't wait to get out of here, I leave in the first week of July, whooooopeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Warm regards,


10:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is some thing I left on the last blog, some Francophile idiot is trying to justify La Monde Francais.

And so............

From: A jealous, embittered whiner (sic)

To: A creepy Francophile sycophant!

* Best health care in the world

I pay 350Eu per month for health care in France, I expect it to be the best at that price!

* Anyone who lives in France for more than 3 months can be covered by French health insurance.

Only if you are salaried not if you are self-employed, check it out!

* NO exlusion for pre-existing conditions with French medical coverage!

I should think not at that price!

* Excellent infrastructure

The highest taxes and social charges in Europe, the infrastructure should be damn good!

* Good Public Transportation

Paid for by the rest of us, it doesn't happen by accident.

* Excellent FREE public schools

The French education system teaches by rote, it's a passive one-way system of learning it's about memorising not learning. You teach chimpanzees that way. That explains a few things about the French lack of imagination.

* France recognizes gay, lesbian, and unmarried couples for social benefits.

So what? Who cares?

* Almost no handguns!

The most unaccountable and uncontrolled, oppressive police force in Western Europe.

* France does not have a "keep up with the Joneses" culture.

Tell me about these French Joneses!

The French are too slow to keep up with anything anyway.

* The French people are very nice and have great manners.

What cave do you live in?

* A French friend is a REAL friend.

I think you mean - "A French friend is a REALLY difficult thing to find!

Are you by any chance French? Or are you just an ass-kissing apologist for the French?


1:48 AM

1:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Polish Foreigner,
I’m sorry to hear you haven’t felt welcome in France. That is such a shame! I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I think that that response might not have anything to do with France, but with the fact you are from Poland. Do not take me wrong, I love Poland and I have a good polish friend. It is just that as you know not everyone in Western Europe like/appreciate Polish…. So I think that what you’re experiencing is not particular of France, but it’s a bad phenomenon that can as well happen in any other country of Western Europe.


3:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Uranus,
Your response was elegant and polite and I do appreciate it. I agree with your point of view towards nationalism and I also believe in the idea of finding good and bad people in any country. However, I haven’t read anything “good about the French in your website” and that is why I said that it looked more like a forum for the “continuous dispute between English and French”.

It is hard to be a foreigner; I’m also one of them. Here, some locals are nice, some locals are not. But the truth is that not matter what… I will ALWAYS be a foreigner, to them and to me, since I will always be a foreigner by choice. I don’t want to blend as a local. I don’t expect locals to behave in a certain way. If they don’t like me because of my country, I’m not interested in them. But, I don’t criticize them; I don’t think their values are low and make fun of them, because why do the locals have to like me? I’m different. I have different values. I’m a foreigner living in their country and I respect all what this country have given me.


3:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Dutch Papa,
The type of Dutch jokes you described are also made in other countries and they are not only about France. For example, in Germany these types of jokes are made about the dutch, the austrian.... In Italy about the Germans, and any other Italian province..… In US about Canadians… In Mexico about Spanish … In Spain about arabs… In Argentina about Uruguayans… Is this by fortune? I will say no. I will say it is history and it is power related. Rivalry between countries is normal. Dutch considering French as low-level-mind people and people in your hometown calling them “STUPIDS” just indicates that you guys have the set of values you feel so eager to criticize. That is having no argument whatsoever: “Is not good that the French are that way, but it is ok I’m that way towards the French”. That is something to be reconsidered. Finally, French are not evil and they should not disappear from this planet. What should disappear from this planet is the idea that some people have an inherited “divine” right to offend and criticize a person that is happily living in his country.


3:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Victoria,

How dare you patronize me, I understand the French mindset completely. It's true that the French are racist bigots. However, when my grandfather was spilling his blood in France fighting in the Falaise Gap and the Chambois Pocket against the retreating German occupying army, our French friends forefathers were happy for some other nation to risk and sacrifice their lives and to do their fighting for them. That seems to be a recurring theme throughout recent European history.

The French have proved to me that they are not worthy of the respect of any other nation, unless of course a miracle happens and the French realise there are other people on this planet too but I fear that there is little likelyhood of that ever happening.

So I guess that there is more than one nation that appreciates the French for what they truly are!

I have wasted enough time and effort on the French, I'm returning to my second home, the UK, where I am treated as an equal and made to feel welcome.

Au revoir

Angry foreigner leaving France

3:37 AM  
Anonymous Dutch papa said...


Your answer is so polite and pletty of good manners that I really appreciate this and I can conclude you are not Frenchie, or a French that have had the chance to have experience in other countries and with different cultures. My opinion about Frenchies having a soul full covered by EVIL emotions, is basically based in my experience in several countries around the world, working and living there... and HONESTLY FRENCHIES (at least from Paris) are just simply the same reencarnation of EVIL!! I know it sounds like a joke, and I did not belive this from all my co-workers that where first working in this country and returned like shocked of the bad experience in France... You are complety right when you say that people must be respected in their own countries, but in this case I think that France should be exclude from EU, cuz they are the ones that do never agree with anything and we europeans countries have to pay the stupids NON from this guys!!!! I think they are not giving the communion needed for al EU countries, we should exclude them from this and then we can really create a strong and united Europe, but not with this suckers in our backs, just stoping all good initiatives cuz their stupid natio-NAliZIm. As a Foreigner I do respect their laws as I have never joined to any of this stupids riots, I do pay all my services on time, let my seat to old ladies in subway(frenchies do not do that), park my car in assigned places, and all good behavior I have never seen on this junkies ... and specially, come'on It turns me really mad to see how stupids this assholes can be stoping the progress in EU, maybe I can see this for the type of business I am working in, and I can tell you France SUCKS BIG TIME!!!!

In the other hand, I think the reason of this blog is just to say that FRENCHIES-WANNABIES's Culture SUCKS!!! that this stupids and Son'f-BITCH SUCKS... I do agree with British Colleagues that France needs more light.. and well, these asholess with their own riots will burn Paris by their own, I am sure they will and for that time I will be out of this fucking country with a big and juice check gotten from this stupid country... hehehehehe

so, Victory with all respect you deserve from me I do think you are right and I am glad your experience here has been nice, you are the 0.001%, I am part of the rest and we do really think FRENCHIES can go hell and kiss my ass!!!!


Mr T

Brighton RULES!!!!

4:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Au revoir!
My dear angry foreigner…
Greetings to England!


8:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Dutch papa,
Very sad to hear you feel surrounded by evil spirits in France. Yes, you are right, I’m glad to belong to the percentage that does not believe that. Honestly, THANKS GOD! I do not believe such a thing, I can’t image myself waking up every morning and going to work with the belief that the reincarnation of evil may be attacking me at any moment.
That is a little scary, indeed.
About EU, well… I think France belongs where it should belong and I don’t believe it is possible to have a strong and united Europe without France. Yes, I agree, sometimes their political attitude is not the best, but this principle applies to other countries as well.


8:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Victoria:

Are you real? Are you so naive and gauche?

If you are I feel sorry, no, I feel pity for you. If you feel welcome and accepted in France there are a couple of reasons for this; 1-you are very accomodating at the place where you work and your colleagues get you to do a lot of the work they should be doing instead of you.

2-What you do is way beyond what they are capable of and they envy you and wait, plot, scheme your downfall and inevitable demise because of their uncontrollable envy.

3-You are a real honey and the guys where you work want to jump your bones and as a result the French women will pay you polite lip service but will hate you and will plan and bring about your eventual downfall.

If you have not already understood this and taken appropriate self-protective measures, I feel pity for you and await your inevitable return to this blog with your real-life, tell it like it is experiences of life in the merde in this country of têtes de la merde.

Good luck Victoria, you seem to be a lovely individual but you are really going to need good luck here!!!!

Britannia Rrules

10:57 PM  
Anonymous Delicate nose said...

I think Nouille had a point. I just came across this blog and read a few posts, and there IS something really obsessive about the way Uranus and some of his readers constantly and quite frantically point out how bad the French smell.
"Man, these people are not like us. They smell, what can I say ? They have this weird look on their face, and… they really do smell pretty bad.That's just a fact."
That's Front National speak, if not Nazi. So yeah, Le Pen really is a terrible thing, probably the worst thing in France, but do you seriously think that speaking like him will do anything good in terms of "re-educating" the French ? If you don't like racists, try not to act like one. That would help a lot more than anything odor-related you might say on this blog.

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Delicate Nose;

You do have a point, there is a certain amount of unreasoned and irrational critism of the French and their penchant for glorifying the delights of "L'odour naturelle"

But I do think that a lot of what is written here tends to be a more realistic account of what it is really like to live in French culture and society.

I have a pretty negative view of the French after working with them for almost 6 years. They can't be trusted and you never really know what is going on behind your back. Not an ideal working environment. Coupled with the current nationalistic/patriotic backlash that is going on now I feel that there is a lot to worry about in France today, if you're not French that is!

I like France but in a more abstract way now but living and working here is a completely different proposition.


12:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous (2 posts above),

Thanks for the quotation, however those words are not mine. Some readers advocate for exterminating the french, some others think they should be praised for letting foreigners live. My ideas do not go to either extreme and are expressed with my signature. Next time, please quote better.

Having said that, I do not like the French culture, I repeat THE FRENCH CULTURE (as opposed to French nationals with, say African culture or French renegades) for the following reasons:

1. Their past is full of cowardy, lies and misdeeds.
2. At present, 80% of French voters vote for racist parties, representative of their national behavior against foreigners

And 3. They have no future because they don't know what teamwork means (I mean, other than stabbing people you live/work with in the back).

p.s. Sorry for not writting more often, but some travel and the World Cup are keeping me busy.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Delicate nose said...

Hi Uranus,
I never said I was quoting you. I was just trying to pin down the spirit of some remarks or comments I have come across. And I admit that the stuff about odors comes from your readers more often than from you. Actually, I agree with a lot of what you say regarding the pettiness of a lot of people in France, and French politics seem pretty scary to me right now. But I don't think it's a good thing to use racist clichés to denounce other people's racism.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Rémy said...

A lot of usual british francophobia around here !
Let me tell you about my experience in London as a froggy : the day I began to work, everyone was observing me, looking for trace of my french complex of superiority. So when I refused to go get drunk in a pub with my colleagues on friday night, I officially became the haughty asshole of the office. And each time I didn't laugh to a joke (I must say not every briton is screamingly funny), my incurable frenchness (that is, to any briton, assholeness) was a bit more recognized. After a month, I was already thinking of coming back home.
I fortunately made friend with a indian guy who explained me the rules of english companionship and found a way to go beyond the national stereotype I had been reduced to. Finally I spent a great time in London and never miss an occasion to go there.
Back in France, I often hear countrymen pouring their crap about their experience in England : the English are unfriendly, scornful, they think they're the best, they have no savoir-vivre, blablabla.
Those poor french are like the people of this blog :
they didn't manage to go beyond the stereotypes they had and those they suffered from. Somehow they didn't make it in France, hence the resentful and rancorous comments read above. Poor lads !

11:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I think that you must be confusing us with some people that actually give a F..K

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Rémy said...

Un utilisateur anonyme :

Why would you make the effort of answering me if you actually didn't give a f..k ?

9:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Last word freak are you? Piss off Froggy!!!

12:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not personal Remy it's just that there are better things to occupy ones self with than the opinions of a Frenchman. Just observe your national history and your current political and economic malaise and you will see why your nation is now considered to be third world and not worthy of note. France is a ship of fools.

Bye old son

12:12 AM  
Anonymous rémy said...

I forgot to mention :

You stupid fucks !!!

5:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Exactly what I expected from a Frenchman. No debate, no arguments just abuse! It rather proves the point about the French, thanks Remy.

Bye old son

7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

An insightful and funny web site thank you. I spent a year in france many years ago and thought it was just paris or just me! we have just returned from a holiday in the south which was very beautiful - but please can you explain why for a nation of dog lovers who take their best friends everywhere - why are the french dogs so unhappy and unfriendly? i never saw a tail wag even from a labrador.they all looked miserable and threatened to bite with any advance. One poor tourist was nearly devoured by a german shepherd,just for admiring from afar. what is the story? is it because they are not treated like dogs but superior people?

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